Mei Li could only wave goodbye and leave the place hurriedly. She prayed for the safety of Jeremy.
You are so brave, Jeremy. Good luck. Jia you. Ganbatte.
Ryn took out the keys and unlocked the gate and the door. She was aware how cold Jeremy's eyes were. Obviously, he was mad when she came home late. And also, the fact that she disconnected the call earlier.
"Do you know what time is it?"
She simply dropped her bag on the floor and walked to the kitchen. Her throat felt dry.
He followed behind her. He was still waiting for her answer, still fuming seeing how she was ignoring him the whole time.
She put down the glass she was drinking and finally looked at him. She cocked an eyebrow.
"For someone who is trying to woo me, you are acting like you own me."
Jeremy rubbed his face in frustration. He needed to control his temper better when he was facing her. But how could he? His jealousy clouded his mind and he could not think rationally anymore.
Ryn made hot cocoa for them. She brought the mugs to the dining table with Jeremy following behind.he
"Ryn, I don't want to... to force you with anything but you have to understand. I love you so much. The more you delay confirming our relationship, the more I am scared that.. that I will lose you. I feel like going crazy not knowing what happen to you."
"Drink your cocoa," she mumbled, not even replying to his heartfelt confession.
"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something for you?" she stood back and prepared to go back to the kitchen.
She paused and turned to look at him with a smile.
"Talking while being hungry will make you emotional. Let's fill your stomach before we start talking."
He could not say anything against that. He was famished, actually. He could not eat while fretting over Ryn being 'stolen' by someone else.
It took her no time to make fried noddle. She brought two bowls to the dining table, then, went back into the kitchen to retrieve utensils and hot sauce.
"Why can't we talk now?"
"Because you will get angrier easily when you are hungry. Eat the noddle."
Slowly he took the chopsticks and started to shovel the noddle into his mouth.
"Eat slowly. I will not run. This is my home."
He slowed down the pace. But because he was hungry, the bowl went empty in just seconds. Wordlessly, Ryn pushed her bowl toward him. He took it and cleaned it in no time.
"Can we talk now?" he asked after she was done cleaning everything.
"Are you calm enough to talk?"
He nodded. The temper and jealous were long gone. Even the frustration too. All he felt right now was nervousness. He needed to get her answer. Would they return back to their status or would she say no?
He could not bear if she said no.
What would he do if she said no again?
"Why don't we start with why you refused to reveal our relationship the last time and why you treated me badly at the end of our relationship?"
He sighed heavily. He should expect this question from her. Their relationship worsened because of his own ego and jealousy. But he was too stubborn and too ego to share his thoughts like when they were used to at the beginning of their relationship. Their love was ended by his own hands. And he hurt her. Badly.
He knew she had not forgiven him.
"I was scared that I would lose my fans. The management kept telling us we are not allowed to be in a relationship. We belonged to the fans and they hated if their idols having girlfriend."
She did not comment upon that, just frowned.
"Although some of them knew about us but they kept pushing me to put an end of us. I did not want to. The members helped covering for us but the group's schedule was too hectic. It was non-stop and I was exhausted all the time."
She nodded. She remembered how busy he was. It was hard for them to meet with him having to for tour. Once the tour ended, he was back into the studio to record new album. Then he got busy with shows and tours.
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At that time, she tried to lessen his burden. She tried to prepare meal for him and always made sure his favourite food and drink always at home.
"I was tired and then I saw you in advertisements smiling with other guys. I kept hearing rumours about you. I was jealous. You never complained about your work. You looked so happy with your work. Every time I saw you, you were so happy. It made me feel like… you were having another affair behind me. That you were two-timing me."
"Don't you think you sound pathetic? You did not ask me about your suspicious. You kept thinking bad about me as if my love meant nothing to you."
"I was ego. I was stupid. I was stubborn. I was scared… I was scared if my suspicion turned true. I did not want to hear you said you no longer love me," he covered his face, too ashamed of his own foolish behaviour.
"But did it give you excuse to bring that woman to your hotel room?"
His face turned paler.
The reason behind their break-up.
That day she wanted to give him a surprise. She purposely took a flight to go to his show, without even telling Mika. She just wanted to spend time with him after they had not seen each other for months. She even bought herself new dress and even did pedicure and manicure. She wanted to look pretty in front of him.
One of the members told her his room number without thinking long. None of them knew about that woman in Jeremy's room. They knew she kept trying to get closer to Jeremy but Jeremy never even glance at her. They, among themselves, even called her 'cheap woman' but still had to fake smiles when she met them.
Ryn entered the elevator with him (one of the members), smiling as he told her their previous show. He even rang the bell and told Jeremy to open the door without giving hint about Ryn standing next to him.
It turned out the moment Jeremy opened the door, their love story ended. Jeremy looked shocked seeing her. He did not even hug her or anything. He even tried to close the door.
Ryn closed her eyes and tried not to cry when she remembered back that moment. She would never forget how wide the smile on that woman's face when she pushed the door open and stepped into the room. That woman even leaned backward to put a gap on her bathrobe. She was wearing a bathrobe. So what else could Ryn think both Jeremy and that woman were doing if not 'that'?