166 I“m tired
"I want to move out."
Although he knew about this but he could not help from feeling shock. His face paled. His hands fell down. Was she serious? It was not a cruel joke?
She looked at him with her hands gripped tight to control her nervousness. What should be said had been said and told. She now just needed to face the consequence.
He was silent for several minutes. His face was down looking at his own laps as he was deep in his thought.
It seemed like the intel of the servants was right. She did want to move out of the house.
What should he do now? He did not want to be separated from her. Even when they were under the same roof, they were still separated by the walls. Now she wanted to move into another house away from him?
"Tomorrow..." she spoke suddenly.
"Tomorrow? Isn't it too soon? What about Mika?" What about me?
Ryn sighed a bit as she closed her eyes. She was most worried about Mika. Anyone else could take the news calmly but not Mika. Mika, when she had to move into the mansion after the incident, was so happy. She always wanted to have a pyjama party almost every night. But she respected when Ryn told her no and still immersed in her own sorrow.
"I will tell her... later... once her health is better," Ryn choked out. She tried not to wince at the thought of breaking this to the vulnerable girl. "Besides..."
"Besides?" he echoed.
"My house is still in the city. I don't move that far. I just want my own space and privacy."
He gripped the steering wheel. Space? Privacy? He gave that and more to her. Tha mansion was big enough and if she did not want to see anyone in the mansion, she could just stay in her room.
"Do you really... Want to move?" he asked slowly.
"Hmm..." she nodded her head and added, "I've moved my things. The one left is in your place."
"What about your old place? What do your parents... No... Have uncle and aunt know about this?" he wished her parents did not know about this so he could pull them to his side. Wouldn't they be worried when she lives alone?
"They already know about this and agree with my decision," Ryn's answer broke his heart. How could she do this without asking him first.
"J, please understand my situation," she looked at him, trying to stay calm. "I do appreciate you and your family help after the incident, for giving me shelter, but I am my own person. I do want to live in my own way."
"But we never restrain you from doing anything you want," he choked out.
"Yes. And I appreciate that and I am so thankful with everyone receiving me with open arms. But... I am not from your world. I don't think I am suitable to live in such a huge mansion with so many people."
"Then... We can stay at my place. With my parents' return, I no longer have to-"
"Jeremy, please. Please understand what I am trying to say. Stop being so stubborn."
"Am I being stubborn? I don't understand why you keep running from me. I thought you want to give us another chance."
"I said I am deciding about that. I am still confused. Are we back to what we were? Is it that easy to erase what happened that day? You broke my heart completely, Jeremy, and I spent almost two years to mend it back."
"Give us another chance. I admit I was stupid that time. I allowed someone else to break our relationship because I was jealous and stubborn and... And stupid."
"And I was stupid too that time, J. We both were. Now, we can start our new beginning as friends. Isn't it better? No more jealousy. No more suspicion. No more anger..."
"I don't want us just being friends. I want you. I really want you back."
"I don't know. I'm so confused."
"What do you need to be confused about? Just accept us back. I know you still love me. Even my parents like you and your parents... I know they like me," he was so desperate, he almost gripped her hands tightly.
"It is easy to say the word 'love' but are we ready for it, J? You are still too... Possesive and emotional while I... I just feel tired from everything. I just..." she paused and looked at him with her wet eyes.
He shook his head desperately. What did she mean by that? She looked like she was giving up. Was she really... No... No!
"Give us more time, Ryn. I haven't done wooing you. You haven't done being wooed so you don't know..."
"Can you send me home? I'm tired." with that she put back the safety belt and turned backing him, signalling him she no longer want to talk about this. She was through talking about this. She closed her eyes tightly.
No reaction from her. She was determined to end this conversation here and then.
Giving the last sad look at her, he finally nodded slowly, "As you wish."
He put back his safety belt and started the engine. Then, he drove the car out of the park. This time they were heading toward the mansion. They were going home.
"Miss Catherine, dinner is ready. Would you like to-"
"I'm still full. Please convey my apologize to them... Please..." Ryn cut the maid's words.
There was no more noise from outside the room.
Ryn pulled her knees closer and rested her head on them. Finally, she told him. But why her heart felt so... Weird?
"I'm doing the right thing. This is the right thing," she told herself, trying to persuade herself about this plan. Moving out of this place was the best plan for the sake of her mental health.
She reached for her phone and unconsciously checked on her own picture gallery. Even though she deleted all of their memory together but somehow there was one left. The picture of both of them together on the night they became an official couple.
She was wearing a denim shorts with white top while he was wearing his usual red shirt and denim jeans. She was smiling shyly at the camera while he was grinning. In front of them were a bouquet of white roses and two bottles of Coke. They looked so happy and innocent, unaware of how cruel the world was.
She missed the innocent time they shared. That time they haven't joined in their respective career. He was the coolest and most popular guy in the school while she was the cheerful happy-go-lucky girl who was so close with Mika, some people thought they were real sisters. None could guess in just few years the love they shared lost because of a third party.
Ryn sniffed. She refused to shed more tears. She had had enough crying over this. She was through. She would not allow herself to fall back into the black hole.
She did not realize what time she fell asleep. When she woke up, she was still in the same position; hands hugging her knees and her head rested on her knees.
She tried to move but the pain hit her... Hard... She cried... Rather loudly.
She was too busy crying while trying to straighten her limbs, she did not notice the havoc outside caused by her cry. After much strength and cry, she was finally able to straighten herself. Then, she looked at the clock. What time was it now?
"Ryn, are you alright?" it was Jeremy and he was knocking the door urgently. He heard the cry coming from her room and did not even have the time to put on his robe. He rushed to her room only in his pants.
She lifted her head and tried not to cry anymore. Had she woke everyone up with her cry? It was already late and he... He...
"Ryn, are you alright, sweetheart? Please talk with me. Are you alright?" his voice filled with worry and love, it broke her heart.
She opened her mouth to say she was alright and he doesn't have to worry but all that came out from her mouth was a cry of pain. Her whole body was still in pain!
She bit into the pillow to muffle her cry. Tears were rolling down her eyes as she tried hard to reduce it to whimper.
"Open the door, Ryn. Stop trying to hide your pain. I can hear your cry." The knock was getting harder and louder as Jeremy getting worrier.
"Young Master, here," the butler came breathlessly, holding chunky keys in his hand, the master keys for this part of the house.
Without waiting for another second, Jeremy took the keys and started to unlock... Well, trying to unlock the door.
"Where is the correct key?" Jeremy groaned when none of the keys he tried fit the hole.
"Let me do it, Young Master," the butler quickly took the keys and chose the correct one for the room.
Jeremy rushed into the room with the butler following behind worriedly. Their eyes widened seeing Ryn lying stiff on the bed with tears wetting her face.
"What's wrong, sweetheart. Talk to me," Jeremy asked, taking Ryn into his arms carefully.
"So painful. My whole body is so painful," Ryn choked out.
"Call the doctor. Call the doctor," Jeremy ordered the butler.
"Yes, Young Master," the butler quickly rushed out to get his phone. In panic when he heard the cry, he forgot to bring along his phone.