292 A traumatic experience?
They returned back to the driving school in silence. None even spoke a word. Each in their own thought.
In twenty minutes, they arrived in front of the building. Ryn and Mika got out and held hands together. They watched as Jacko locked the door and approached them.
"Erm… about the next class…" he paused. He wanted to say that it would be a different driving instructor who would hold the class but his mind went blank. How could he say this without hurting Ryn's feeling? He knew Ryn was aware of how miserable he was during both lessons.
"I will try not to shout too much," Ryn promised hurriedly in her hoarse voice.
Mika winced when she heard Ryn's voice. She planned to make a honey drink for her best friend. And maybe while Ryn went abroad for her work, Mika would check on cute little car suitable for her Ryn. It would be a congratulate gift once Ryn passes the driving test and get her driving licence.
Mika smiled happily at her plan. Of course, she would only tell Jason about this plan. She would not tell this to her stupid brother. Once Jeremy knew about this, he would choose the car he wanted and reject whatever car she chose.
Jacko was speechless. Although Ryn looked serious when she promised that but he knew it would be hard for Ryn to do so. She started screaming once the car started moving. However, when she was on a passenger side, she did not scream or shout. It was, honestly, quite weird. It was as if she had something going on against driving.
A traumatic experience?
He eyed the woman quietly but did not say a word. He just murmured something and went into the building. Both Ryn and Mika followed behind. Ryn still needed to arrange for her next class.
Mika watched as Ryn talked with the woman. She took out her phone to check her diary, just to ensure the date would not clash to any of her jobs or exam. She thanked the woman once they managed to agree to a date.
"Are you done?" Mika asked.
"Hmm…" Ryn nodded. She reached for Mika's hands, needing the energy and support from her best friend. "I did bad, didn't I?"
Mika did not know how to answer that. Yes, it was bad but this was only Ryn's second lesson. And adding with the traumatic experience, it was not expected for her to excel in driving. It would take her more lessons and a lot of support to help her get through this challenge. Mika believed Ryn could do it.
"I was bad?" Ryn asked worriedly.
Mika nodded, and then, shook her head.
Ryn looked stricken when her best friend did not even know whether she was good or bad during her lesson. Obviously it was so bad but Mika did not want to hurt her feeling.
Maybe… maybe it was a huge mistake for her to… to take this step?
"Maybe… maybe I should cancel this," Ryn mumbled sadly. Her shoulders dropped with misery. She felt like crying but there was no tear in her eyes.
"No… You don't have to cancel this. You can do it. I know you can," Mika said hurriedly. She did not want Ryn to lose hope. She wanted Ryn to forget all of her sad memories and create new ones to replace them.
"It's okay. It's just your second class. You're still new in this. You haven't get used with everything yet. Once you remember which one is the clutch, gear and accelerator… and how to change gear, you won't get panic," Mika said hurriedly. She pulled Ryn toward her car, still coaxing her to change her mind.
"Why don't you just focus on your jobs and then when you come back, we will talk about this again?" Mika suggested.
"Let's go have shaved ice. I haven't tasted one for so long," Mika said. She quickly unlocked the door of her car and opened the door for Ryn. She pushed her best friend into the passenger side and closed the door. Then, she hurried to the driver side and jumped to her seat.
"Don't think too much. We are going to eat delicious cool shaved ice. I want a mango sago. What about you?" Mika quickly cut off Ryn's words and changed the subject with a forced smile.
"I…" Ryn looked at her hands clasped on her laps worriedly. She had no mood for shaved ice. The experience this time really affect her.
"Don't worry. Everything will be alright," Mika said, glancing at her best friend when Ryn did not continue her words. She knew Ryn was still worrying over this issue.
Ryn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Everything would be alright.
"Practice makes perfect," Mika added, "Why don't… before your next class, you practice first?"
"But where can I find a manual car to practice on?" Ryn cried. Everyone she knew was driving an auto car. Even all the cars belonged to Ryn and Jeremy were auto cars. How could she practice using an auto car?
Maybe she should just cancel her plan to get a driving licence. It was not worth it.
"Ryn," Mika called her name with a big sigh and dropped the long little spoon she used to scoop her mango sago shaved ice. They were now at the dessert café and having the cool dessert to cool off the temperature and to make themselves feel better. But it seemed like Ryn was still carrying the burden of her 'failure' and refused to move on.
"Hmm…" Ryn continued poking her red velvet shaved ice slowly. She only ate around two spoons before starting her 'poking' attack. Her dessert has melted into half red goo and looked weird with the chocolate rice 'decorating' it.
"Are you still sad?"
"Did you expect you'd be good automatically?"
"I… don't know…"
"Lessons are the time for you to learn and do mistake… and learn from your mistake. If you can't do it on your first try, do a second try… and the third… and fourth… until you master it. Practice makes perfect and you do know this motto, right? You believe in it. That's why you always practice your walking and your posing whenever you have time."
Ryn nodded her head slightly. Despite people thought she did everything like a piece of cake, behind it was determination and a lot of work. When she just started, she always spent her free time to improve her skills. Mika was always her audience, her partner, and her voice. Mika would point out if she did bad and helped to look for the best way to overcome it. She learned how to manipulate her expression and her body language to the fullest until it became a sort of an unconscious action whenever she was doing her job. She trained herself hard enough to make it into her habit.
"It was… a long time ago…"
"Is it?" Mika cocked an eyebrow.
"Anyway… why don't you use your determination, your persistence and your stubbornness to conquer this? It is one of the challenges you must face to move forward. Think, how much money you can save by driving your own car? How much time you can save just by driving?" Mika tried to entice her stingy and practical side.
Ryn frowned, thinking hard.
"Fails once doesn't mean you'll fail forever. Don't give up, Ryn. I know you can do it," Mika coaxed gently.
Ryn kept quiet, still staring at her melted dessert.
"I know it was a traumatic experience for you and this step you took required so much bravery and courage for you to take. But, if you give up now, won't it mean that you are still living in the past?" Mika asked, seeing that she failed to lure Ryn's stingy and practical side. Luckily she never skipped her psychology class and remembered some words and lines given by her cold-hearted counsellor.
She never thought this day would come when she was the one coaxing Ryn regarding life. It made her feel closer to Ryn. Closer than ever.
"You are tougher than this, Ryn. You are the strongest between us two. You never give up once you make up your mind," Mika added.
"It's not like I purposely let it affect me, Mika. I lost control and at that time, I kept feeling that I will hit the wall again and maybe… maybe this time, it will be worse than that time," Ryn choked out.
"But there was no wall. You didn't hit anything. We all are still safe and sound, aren't we?"
"But my body…"
"It's on your mind. There is no wall anywhere, Ryn. We're practising at the field," Mika said.
Ryn chewed her lower lip. She knew that. She knew they were in the field when practising her driving skill. She knew it. But…
"Finish your shaved ice. It's all melted," Mika urged. She tried to switch Ryn's mind to another matter.
Ryn looked at the small bowl and sighed, "I've lost my appetite."
Mika sighed heavily. It seemed like she failed to make Ryn feel better. Even her favourite food failed to make her feel happy.