The Emperor's System
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82 Butt another story!
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The Emperor's System
Author :Lazyfatmonk
© Wuxiaworld

82 Butt another story!

The Dark heavenly gold mine, known to be the most precious mine ever discovered within close proximity of the capital city, was protected by the Dark bull army! This army was known for its ruthlessness and extreme power in close-quarter combat!

Leading this army was their general, General Kane, nicknamed, the Dark bull king, he got this nickname due to his take-charge attitude in wars where he would lead his army personally into war instead of sitting on the sidelines throwing out commands like the other generals.

And it because this general was protecting the mines that countless enemies were deterred from making a move on it! But even though this kind of general should be respected by his men, the Dark bull king wasn't!

The reason why a general willing to fight on the grounds with his men was not respected was because of his weird habit. The general, wether while fighting his enemies or punishing soldiers had a weird habit of stabbing them in the butt!

According to him, his life motto is, 'Enemy or friend, all shall remember my name every time they sat down!' and this was true! Most of his men sleep on their stomachs because they couldn't place their butts on the ground, and it was because of the general's weird punishment that most of his men were not lazy!

Every time they took a break from training and attempted to sit down, the pain would immediately get them standing back up again. And because of this most of his men stayed up training rather than sitting, strengthening his army even more!

But none of this would anger his men to a degree of hate, it was because they made a mistake that he would punish them after all.

The main reason they hated their general was that he never even lets sleeping dogs lie! When his men suffered punishment and slept on their stomachs, he would wake up deep in the night and stab them in the butt again while they were sleeping!

The General was simply too cruel to his men!!!

Nick arrived on the scene deep in the night. So hiding his aura and cultivation using the disguise skill he climbed up a large tree and began inspecting the mine, the patrolling guards, and the patterns of deployment!

But as he was studying all this, he was stunned to find a sneaky figure rushing out of a grand looking tent with the insignia of a bull in it! The figure then slowly and sneakily walked up behind one of the patrolling soldiers.

Nick who was watching this immediately brought out a bowl of popcorn and stared at the figure with extreme focus! He was now waiting for an extremely action-packed scene!

But then, the man ignored the patrolling soldier in front of him, and slowly crept up on a sleeping soldier instead!

Assassination!! This was an assassination!! Nick was excited to the extreme, no, he was worried, his kind heart was worried for the poor sleeping soldier! Maybe he should warn them somehow, but then he rejected the idea, what if the soldier was the type of person that would rather die then be woken up from his deep sleep!


What if Nick went through all the trouble of waking up the soldier and warning him only to be cursed out for not being considerate of people's sleep! Then both the assassin and the sleepy soldier would both target him, so it was better to just sit silently and watch.

But then, the assassin covered the sleeping soldier's mouth, and instead of targeting the neck as a normal assassin would, he instead stabbed his dagger at the soldier's buttocks!

Butt Stab!! Nick could only clap for the guy. What did people mean when they said, be original, this was it, this was being original! An assassin that stabbed the butt, or the Butt stab assassin as he should he be called.

Feeling extreme pain the soldier tried to get up and prepared to scream but the Buttstab assassin simply clamped his mouth shut then tapped him on the head, knocking the soldier unconscious!

But the figure didn't stop there as the figure kept on going from soldier to soldier stabbing them all in their butts!

Nick's artistic side felt like a poem was coming along!

'What is a blade, but silent and sharp

What is a butt, if not full of crap

the butt can rest on its own

and the blade can be thrown

the blade cries in the night

the butt makes noises in fright

but if the butt and the blade do fight

who will win, who will show might

The sharp blade stabs the butt cheek

And this is the way of the Buttstabbing freak!!!'

Clang!!!

"Hehe, got you, general!!!" Suddenly one of the soldiers that was being attacked by the Buttstabbing assassin began laughing like crazy!

"You!!! You actually stuffed metal plates into your pants!!!" The figure sounded furious.

"Hehehe, this was my wife's idea, she said that this was the only way to keep my beautiful butt safe! And I figured that I have been stabbed five times already, and it was about time to take some precautions!!!" The man sounded very proud.

The clanging sound seemed to have attracted the patrolling soldiers and woke up the sleeping soldiers. And everyone just kept on staring at the cocky and proud soldier in amusement. How many soldiers have previously served under the general, how could no one have taught of such a thing before?!

The reason that no one dared to use such a thing, was because all those that had tried before were not punished right away when it happened, instead, the general waited until the next night to get his revenge, as he will bring his prized peak-transcendence level dagger instead of the Origin level dagger he was currently using, and stab both of their butt cheeks two times each!

But this soldier that had only followed this general for a month now didn't know this, and was acting so cocky and proud! Yet none of the soldiers planned on telling him what would happen in the future, after all, they had to suffer through it, how could they let the man have it easy!

Nick who was drinking some Coca-cola almost chocked when he saw the situation! So, the Buttstabbing assassin was actually the revered General Kane?!!! Damn, Nick felt like this world was filled with multiple plot twists and entertaining characters! There would definitely not be any dull moments in the future!

Nick was then about to keep on watching when he suddenly got a terrific Idea! Then he took out something that he had bought a little while ago but hadn't really used since, the Gathering level Bow!

Then he waited and watched as the general left in anger, truly angry and annoyed for he didn't get to stab many butts tonight! Nick then continued to wait for thirty minutes after the general returned to his tent before he grabbed his bow and handed it to a clone he created.

This clone who was created using the Death monger skill could, of course, understand Nick's intentions without Nick needing to say them out loud so he immediately disappeared and ran around the camp, appearing on the other side of the camp, standing on a tree exactly in the opposite direction of Nick's.

The bow was awsome since it didn't need any special arrows to fire, and all it needed was to be fed some energy from the holder to automatically create an arrow! So, after creating the arrow the clone pulled the bow and began aiming!

His target, the man with the butt shield! Nick didn't like how the man got away from experiencing his butt getting stabbed while his fellow comrades were suffering from agony! Where was the no soldier left behind motto?! Where was the together we are strong motto?!! The man should have just suffered through it with his fellow soldiers!

Twang!!!

Pshshshshsht!!!!!

"Ayooooooooo" The soldier, was bragging to his friends about his thoughtful wife while his friends, who knew what was going to follow the next day due to the general's vengeful nature simply smiled and nodded, but suddenly an arrow appeared behind the man and impaled his right butt cheek!

The arrow completely ignored the butt's defenses as it went through, but then not even a second later another arrow went into the man's left butt cheek!

The soldier was so happy just a few minutes ago, he was proud because he felt like he was the only smart person to have ever thought of such an ingenious plan! He didn't even get up from his sleeping position as he talked and bragged to his friends, clearly daring the general to try again!

But now, he was feeling so much pain as he wailed and cried out for help. But all he saw was a tiny hint of surprise and then indifference in the eyes of his fellow comrades!

Yes, the other soldiers weren't very surprised, the general usually did use his prized dagger but it seems this time he was changing it up! And so none of them dared to interfere with the general's punishment. In fact, most of them were gloating inside at the man's misfortune!

Nick who was enjoying his snacks and drinks on a tree was stunned when he noticed the indifference in the eyes of the guards. So, immediately he had the clone target them next!

And like this, the next moment the forest was filled with the wails and cries of soldiers who didn't attempt to fight back! For fear of their general taking revenge the next day, in fact, some even positioned their butts to receive the attack, making sure that the general won't miss his aim and shoot at their pooper!


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